Patrick Redford is a 3rd Year Geology/Geography Major. Check him out on twitter @patrickredford

More than any other sport, basketball emphasizes the individual. In football, soccer and others, all players are specialized and must rely on teammates to do anything. On an NBA court, there are no responsibilities to hide behind, no over-evolved niche players who have one skill. The game takes place in a 3D space where creativity and beautiful, innovative basketball is rewarded just as much as gutsy, powerful displays are. A balance is essential, thus creating a diverse and competitive ecosystem of multi-skilled and vastly different players. The playoffs are great theater of course, narratives will be built and advanced with frightening speed, but the physical show will be just as spectacular, and it lasts for a month and a half. This year, the defending champion, Miami Heat, took their scorched earth, no prisoners style of relentless, efficient ball to new heights and look scarier than ever. The rest of the conference has been fairly lackluster, but the playoffs tend to bring the best out of teams like Boston, Chicago and others. Perhaps one of the happiest stories of the season has been watching the resurgence of the Knicks. New York City is the most important basketball city in the world and it feels important that their team is a contender (somewhat). Elsewhere there are less watchable series, but Eastern Conference playoffs are their own kind of fun, particularly if you like defense.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Heat – (8) Bucks

Why to Watch: It’s usually necessary to provide the insincere caveat that anything can happen when discussing super uneven series but this one is a formality, so no need. LARRY SANDERS! (blogbro rules stipulate that I must address him as such) has been awesome for the Bucks this year and awesome in general, Brandon Jennings is I guess less frustrating, but this is a silly series that will end quietly. You should watch because on double-header nights it will be on before an entertaining (read: Western Conference) playoff game. Knicks-Celtics is the best Eastern First round series because of narrative and New York’s brand of offensive centric basketball, but this one is also worth your time simply because of playoff Lebron James. The Heat has become the scary unstoppable flying death machine everyone thought they would be when the Big 3 first united. They fly in transition and dunk all the time and shoot a whole bunch of threes. At the head of the attack is James. Unlike the pointy, one-dimensional basketball of other greats like Kobe Bryant, James’ domination is more holistic. Zach Lowe theorized that these dudes have solved NBA offense and they pretty much only take great shots. The only downside is that have to wait until probably the conference finals to see some actual resistance. The only teams who have looked dangerous this year against Miami are (2) New York, (3) Indiana, and (7) Boston, and since Miami’s second round opponent will be the winner of the 4-5 Brooklyn vs. Chicago yawnfest, they will likely only have to play one of those three. This is the clearest path to the finals I’ve seen in a while.

Relevant Statistic: LARRY SANDERS! is posting a 7.6% block percentage, meaning he blocks one out of every ~13 shots the opposing team shoots. Not that this will matter too much in terms of wins and losses since Lebron is still transcending the sport, but at least there is potential for a cool dunk stuffing or a crazy stat line from LS!. Also Lebron just finished the first ever regular season with a PER (player efficiency rating) above 30 and effective field goal percentage above 60%.

Prediction: Ersan Ilyasova misses Game 1 on accident because he was too busy screen-printing ERSANITY! T-shirts. Norris Cole tries to shave the shape of a broom into his flat top but it mostly looks like a pitchfork and nobody gets it. Monta Ellis forgets its best of 7 and announces he wants to sign with Orlando after Game 3, making it really awkward. Juwan Howard goes up for a garbage time rebound and falls funny on his knee, ending a 20 year career by turning into a pile of dust. LS! says he “doesn’t see the big deal with Corgis” and basketball twitter turns on him. Heat in 4.

(4) Nets – (5) Bulls

Why to Watch: You really have a thing for lumpy white dudes with silly names? You are a P.J. Carlesimo completist? You like black uniforms (both teams black unis are pretty cool actually)? All valid reasons to watch this series! Initially, I was going to shit on this 4-5 for being boring, but playoff Deron Williams is a treat and Joakim Noah & crew will not go quietly into the night (or anywhere really). The Nets are like those soccer teams in Europe that get a huge boost of oil money from a Qatari oligarch, only they’re the only team of their kind in basketball. Salary cap rules and other machinations have prevented Russian money-man Mikhail Prokorhov from simply buying the best players, despite his best efforts, but he has paid serious money for a playoff team and that’s exactly what he got. Not a championship contender nor a home for harmonious, perfect basketball. Simply an archetypal playoff team. Meanwhile the Bulls soldier on without their superstar and the transcendence he represents. They will be without Derrick Rose and possibly Joakim Noah, which is a blow to the Bulls chance of advancing and the watchability quotient of the matchup. This is an especially earthbound playoff series, but it will be a fun one. One of the best dunkers of the 2000’s is here, but only technically. The all-at-once decline of Gerald Wallace has been depressing, especially when you remember that the pick they flipped for him became Damian Lillard, future 2013 Rookie of the Year. There will be no pyroclastic explosions in this one, but there will be quality basketball. Winner gets wrecked in the conference semifinals!

Relevant Statistic: Luol Deng led the league in minutes again this year at 38.9 per game, many of those spent checking the best wing player opposite him. He thrives in the ‘grind it out, shoot with 2 seconds left on the shot clock, NO EASY BUCKETS’ ecosystem that this series presents. With players as solid as he and defensive blitzkreig Joakim Noah, the Bulls could plausibly win any game they are a part of. They did snap Miami’s 28 game win streak this year. However Noah, will be “severely limited” in this series if he plays at all.

Predictions: Nate Robinson gets his wee lil paws stuck in the net, but play has progressed to the other side so he has to swing in shame for a bit. Mikhail Prokorhov debuts denim jerseys, which everyone agrees are awesome but do not lend themselves well to basketball playing. It turns out Carlos Boozer is actually spiders. After Game 4, Andray Blatche reveals the diet that propelled him to a clutch fourth quarter performance was composed wholly of “pixie sticks and champagne.” Impressed by the fashionable post-game press conference outfits of Russell Westbrook, Jimmy Butler buys a bunch of leather stuff to wear, which causes a leather arms race of sorts with Westbrook, until Russell finally ends it by arriving to Game 4 of his series on a cow. Nets in 6.

(2) Knicks – (7) Celtics

Why to Watch: Remember the Celtics-Bulls 2009 first round series? There were 7 OT’s in 7 games, Derrick Rose and Rajon Rondo both truly emerged as rivals and superstars and the series was full of beautiful little basketball moments like game changing shots from John Salmons. But what made this series most watchable and what elevated it into Top 10 First Round Series listicle status was hate. Chicago hated Boston for their pompous studio gangster asshattery and Boston hated them right back but mostly because the Celtics run on hate and tend to yell at everyone. This series could very well explode into congruent theater with the epic ’09 series. These Knicks and these Celtics have a contentious history this year alone, Carmelo is the new scoring king and has had a fantastic season, and J.R. Smith has reprised his folk hero/misunderstood basketball genius act to new heights this year. The dearth of tall dudes for the Knicks after injuries and a retirement depleted their roster could be an unexpected boon, as their deadly floor spacing will get even spacier. The Celtics tend to play boring offensive basketball, but Avery Bradley is a defensive wizard who can destroy offenses at the point of attack singlehandedly. The playoffs without Rajon Rondo aren’t nearly as fun, but Jeff Green has finally begun to look like someone worth trading Kendrick Perkins for. The Anthony-Green battle will be great to watch, because there ain’t much else pretty to look at. On Tuesday, the Knicks also signed Quentin Richardson, who is a basketball punchline but he and Paul Pierce hate the living shit out of each other, which will only make this more fun. Rivalries always enhance sports, they puff the actual games up with a grandiose sense of history and pageantry and this one is no exception. Viva Hate!

Relevant Statistic: The Knicks shoot a ton of 3 pointers (league leading 28.9 per game) and make them at a good clip (37.6%, good for fourth in the league). Boston allows its opponents to shoot 33.9% from moneyland, good for third in the NBA. There’s your battleground.

Prediction: Steve Novak discovers salt for the first time and incorrectly attributes his 35-point Game 1 to the iodine boost, causing him to over-salinate, dehydrate and have a poor series. Avery Bradley listens to Damaged too much before Game 4 and breaks the TD Garden home locker room speakers during “Spray Paint.” Pablo Prigioni accidentally plays Game 2 without a left sock (doesn’t notice). Rajon Rondo cuts off Chris Copeland’s dreads before Game 6, in an attempted Sampson and Delilah scale-tipper. Knicks in 6.

(3) Pacers – (6) Hawks

Why to Watch: This is a popular series to decry for being boring, and while its not riveting theater full of fast break dunks and the like, it will be good basketball. Both teams are solid defensively and have some underrated playmakers, emblematic of the Eastern Conference way. Paul George has happily grown from fringe cult player to star, which is awesome as a fan since we should always cheer for players to reach their full potential. The rest of the team is stout and mean. George is the star, but the offense mostly runs through master of the elbows David West and 7’ 2” center Roy Hibbert. Their non-George guard play has been solid, especially with the emergence of Lance Stephenson. He brings a refreshing level of dynamism to what can be a very grinding team (bottom five in pace, assists and field goal percentage). Indiana is a solid squad that is geared towards postseason success. The Hawks have a reputation as an exceedingly average team that can mostly be ignored, but they tend to over achieve in the postseason. Point guard Jeff Teague has continued to improve as he’s learned to use his powers (speed) for good. Josh Smith is a versatile star and remains criminally underrated. The team will sorely miss the dynamic Lou Williams and may not have enough creativity across the board to break the Pacers down and access their arsenal of quality three-point shooters. This won’t be thrilling, 120-115 Western Conference ball, but it’s definitely worth your time on the front end of double headers.

Relevant Statistic: Despite being the 12^th and 9^th largest cities in the United States, the Pacers and Hawks rank respectively 27^th and 23^rd in attendance.

Predictions: Ian Mahinmi averages more fouls per 36 minutes than every Western Conference playoff team combined. In a classic mistaken identity gag, Johan Petro has his water spiked by anti-Big Oil protestors. Nobody knows whom, but somebody releases 13-17 pug dogs into the Pacers locker room before Game 3. Ivan Johnson (who is banned for life from the Korean Basketball League) insists on wearing his grill for Game 2 and everyone is too scared to say no. The injured Zaza Pachulia takes a nap on the bench. Pacers in 6.

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