You’ve got butterflies in your stomach, an ever-present smile on your face, and a special someone you can’t stop thinking about… all the usual symptoms. You’re in love, but what does that mean exactly, from a scientific perspective? The description of your brain’s reaction to the neurotransmitters and hormones pumping through your synapses is not nearly as romantic as tender words from your beloved. However, these chemical reactions have more to do with the reason you’re swooning all over the place than the rose petals on your bed do.
Why Love?
In this inquiry one must first ask, why do we fall in love? Many scientists propose a Darwinian theory that love is one of biology’s sneaky little tricks intended to guarantee the survival of our species. Feelings of lust often lead to (you guessed it) sex and potential procreation. Thus, a new generation is born and the circle of human life perpetuates.
The Three Stages of Love:
1. Lust: This first stage has little to do with your partner and more to do with the raging sex hormones present in both men and women: testosterone and estrogen. These hormones are responsible for the desire to form sexual and emotional bonds with another.
2. Attraction: Attraction is probably the most exciting “love struck” phase of a relationship. The presence or thought of a person during the attraction phase initiates your stress response. Those butterflies in your stomach are actually spikes of adrenaline and cortisol. Neurotransmitters called dopamine and serotonin are also at play. Dopamine regulates the ‘desire and reward’ processes of the brain causing positive interactions with your lover to stimulate intense rushes of pleasure, increased energy, less need for food and sleep, intense focus, and delight in the novel details of a relationship. The effects of dopamine on a person newly in love have the same effect on the brain as a person under the influence of cocaine. Serotonin could explain the tendency of your thoughts to drift back to your partner. In fact, studies have shown that couples in the early phases of love have similar serotonin patterns to patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
3. Attachment: The final stage of love is attachment. Here couples have spent a significant amount of time with one another and forged deep emotional connections after the initial rush of attraction has subsided. Research is still investigating the neurochemicals involved in long term attachment and why couples stay together, but two important hormones, vasopressin and oxytocin, are known contributors. Vasopressin is released after an orgasm and is known to stimulate feelings of devotion. Oxytocin is often lovingly referred to as the “cuddle hormone.” It is also released after an orgasm and during breastfeeding. It is a crucial neurotransmitter in the bonding of mother and child. In fact, studies where oxytocin receptors were derailed caused rats and sheep to abandon their young.
Scientific Stimulation of Love:
On an interesting side note, a study conducted by Professor Arthur Aron proved that feelings of ‘love’ could be facilitated 
between strangers following these three steps:
1) Find a complete stranger.
2) Share intimate details about your lives for thirty minutes.
3) Stare deeply into each other’s eyes for four minutes without talking.
After the experiment, many subjects reported feeling deeply connected and attracted to their partner. In fact, one of the couples ended up getting married.
This being said, don’t let the scientific demystification of love suck any of the romance out of you. There are still things science won’t explain. Enjoy the rush of dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline, cortisol, estrogen, testosterone, vasopressin, and oxytocin!
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*arthur aron