You don’t have to walk around Cal’s campus long to realize that not all Berkeleyites walk the same walk or talk the same talk. This campus cornucopia is home to over 300 degree programs, dozens of student run organizations and over 35,000 students, all of which have their own unique flavor. And though you’ll find a great diversity in the foods available around Berkeley, if the people of Cal were foods, they would cover the entire edible spectrum.

Here is a sample platter of what you might find:

1. Engineers as Evaporated Milk – Though evaporated milk doesn’t stand out immediately as a star-studded food, milk is one of the most foundational foods imaginable – it’s used everywhere, by everyone for almost everything. And when it’s evaporated, it’s in it for the long term. There’s a reason evaporated milk has such a long life span. Producers knew we were going to be needing milk for a long time to come.

2. Hipsters as Sushi – A staple to Berkeley’s diet, sushi and all its variations reside slightly off the well-beaten track when it comes to food. Sushi is an acquired taste and prides itself on its many layers and raw ingredients, giving it it’s renowned chic and highly stylized appearance.

3. ASUC as Bagels – Bagels are the food of a people constantly on the go. Quick and clean, bagels sacrifice individual flavorfulness to contribute their presence towards enhancing the spreads within them. Bagels, though they come in several variations, all strive towards larger goals.

4. Frat Bros as Buffalo Wings – These wings are tasty all the way down to the bone, and sometimes come with dips too. An essential for any party, they’re great for sharing, and though original flavored is a classic, beer-battered is favorite with many.

5. Theatre Majors as Banana Splits – Though this ice cream/fruit/whipped cream concoction begins with a banana like any other, by the time it’s ready for consumption it has assumed all the dressings of a star. Potential eaters, be prepared, this dessert puts on a great show and may call for an encore or two.

6. Haasians as Black Coffee – Characterized by its single-minded intensity – blisteringly hot and without any frilly ornamentation – this is the drink of the dedicated, the sleep-deprived and the ambitious. It gets the job done.

7. Dance Groupers as Coca Cola – There’s something timeless and inexpressibly cool about Coca Cola. Maybe it’s the classic logo, the swoops and turns of the letters. Maybe it’s the powerful contours of the bottle. But there’s no denying, once you pop that cap, once that fizz hits your tongue, Coca-Cola has all the right moves.

8. Cal Band as Pineapple Upside-Down cake – It’s not hard to toot the horn of this dessert. Pineapple upside-down cake is a symphony of flavors – the fruity pineapple, the sweet and fluffy cake, the round red cherries – which come together in delicious harmony to put the “C” in Cal’s unending Crescendo.

9. Professors as Steak – Steaks are food you can really sink teeth into and chew on for hours. They’re that complex. And every fresh cut into them makes the juices really start flowing. Though you may have to go out of your way to get the best, when cooked just right, steaks can change your world.

10. Caliber Staff as The Big Cheese – Everyone knows that any real cheese has a strong and distinct odor to it. Here to make a big stink all around Cal, this big cheese is spreading the scent of Berkeley’s EVERYTHING magazine!

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