FollowI joined Tinder, about six months ago, just for fun. A match with a hot guy would give me a boost of confidence, and it was something to do when I was bored in bed late at night when my roommate was already asleep.
But then I matched Alvin.* He had spent a summer volunteering in Peru. He ran ultra-marathons. He was a stylist. Basically, he was all these swoon-worthy, interesting things, and still, he kept asking ordinary me out – and I mean “kept asking.” It took Alvin about four times, but finally I agreed to go out with him. We met for brunch, and we had fun.
But something was off. He was sponsored by a Rubik’s cube maker because he was the 4th fastest Rubik’s cuber in the world. He styled Justin Timberlake once. Everyone in his family went to Ivy League universities, and he was planning attending one of after finishing his gap year, during which he was traveling to do missionary work in Peru and run ultra-marathons. He ran at least 10 miles per day. All of these things are amazing. I learned them all in about an hour, and I think everyone in the world would too. Basically, the date was the strangest experience of my life.
What was even stranger was how he seemed to be pursuing a serious relationship. He kept making allusions to the future. This shocked me. His far too frequent follow up texts made me anxious. I finally had to, as kindly as possible, let him know that I was not in the place to pursue anything and felt annoyed that it was so hard to convey this feeling. But then I started to question — why was I so offended that a boy actually wanted to date me? And then I realized that it was because, to me, the context of Tinder did not include relationships.
Tinder was first launched in 2012 but has surged in popularity over this past year. In fact, the app was named the Best Start Up of 2013. The app is very popular on campus as it allows students to casually hook up, without the pressures of approaching someone or asking questions about whether or not the interest is mutual. Additionally, with a younger audience, probably thanks to its newness and swift pace, the app doesn’t feel as strange or cumbersome as setting up a dating profile on sites like Match.com, OkCupid, or JDate.
Plus Tinder is just a lot of fun. The fast paced nature of the app makes it almost feel like a game. Some suggest that Tinder is evolving into something more geared towards forming actual relationships rather than casual hookups, but due to the completely randomness and superficiality of the green heart or red x, based almost solely on appearances, I don’t find this a compelling argument.
On our campus, the app has become a pretty staple part of the ever-present “hook up culture.” Almost everyone I spoke with has or had the app at some point. A lot of the students just used the app for fun and made jokes of it with their friends by helping each other decide whether to swipe right or left, form the perfect short bios, and drop sick pick-up lines.
“I always start off the conversation with ‘if you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple,” said UC Berkeley student, Daniel Anstey.
Another student told me that he always swiped right, which is maybe a little bit desperate, but any hook up is better than no hook up. However some avoid the app because running into their matches in real life is too much awkwardness to handle.
“I right-swiped everyone I got that I knew kind of as a joke, but now it’s just awkward when I see them in the elevator,” said a student, to which her male friend replied, “Well obviously, do you know what right swiping means?!”
And I guess that pulls me back to my initial question: in a world full of horny, undersexed, and overexposed young adults, what does a right-swipe mean?
To me, and to most, it means a little bit of fun and maybe some interesting conversation, but apparently to my date, a right-swipe meant going on a trip to South Africa together — I kid you not, I was invited to South Africa. And maybe these are the extremes, but either way, Tinder’s flame will keep burning for awhile to come.
*Name modified for privacy purposes
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