Insults are a funny thing. Although I am a true fan of adopting new and creative comeback words and phrases for when my own limited mental prowess fails (see a selection of my working list of personally developed insults at the end of this blog post), I do realize (for the most part) my own ignorance. When I first heard, for example, conservative leaders of the United States calling whistleblower Edward Snowden “scum” and “evil” and a “terrorist” (the modern-day Red Scare/ McCarthyism-era equivalent to “Commie”), I could not comprehend this point of view. After my initial mental anguish and simultaneous assignment of various personalized insults to these Republican representatives, I decided to objectively try and understand. Here are my basic conclusions:

When a Republican says, “Edward Snowden is a terrorist,” he/she actually means, “I don’t understand what’s happening but Fox News tells me that Snowden has placed the entire nation at risk of a terrorist attack.”

When a Republican says, “Edward Snowden is a selfish scumbag,” he/she actually means, “I really don’t understand what’s happening but Fox News tells me that Snowden has placed the entire nation at risk of a terrorist attack.”

When a Republican says, “Edward Snowden is the epitome of evil,” he/she actually means, “I really, really, REALLY don’t understand what’s happening but Fox News tells me that Snowden has placed the entire nation at risk of a terrorist attack.”

I think it can be safely concluded that Republicans are quite terrified of an impending terrorist attack. Although a legitimate fear, Snowden’s decision to leak classified documents from the National Security Agency (NSA) will not be the cause of any national tragedy. What will continue to put Americans at risk is the nation’s refusal to acknowledge the root cause of the social unrest that spurs these attacks: ourselves.

Until the United States decides to end exploitative international economic policies (i.e. structural adjustment and other neo-liberal “development” strategies) through a reduction in our insatiable consumption levels, we will continue to create social unrest.

Instead of investing a whopping $3.2 billion on an 800,000 square foot NSA headquarters building that initially uses 60 megawatts of electricity (not too good for lowering our emissions or energy demand), our government should be putting money towards policies that will truly address the economic and social strife that pushes international (and national) citizens to the point of desperation.

We are, essentially, paying for the government to avoid addressing the complicated issues that are placing not only our national security, but also our own personal securities at risk.

The vast amount of capital, energy and manpower dedicated to gathering information on citizens at home and abroad is an inexcusable waste of viable assets. End of the line surveillance overlooks the complex (and quite flawed) socio-political and economic structures that create injustices and inevitably spur attacks. Our government should place less attention on spying and instead, focus on improving our international social, political and economic relations. Insults and surveillance will not stop needless tragedies, but the courage to change our perspectives and alter our lifestyles may very well improve the social stability of our global society.

As promised, here is a selection of my top five self-created insults:

You are such a…

1. Phosphorescent legume (this just rolls right off the tongue)
2. Ranivorous cockalorum (literally means a small, haughty man that eats frogs)
3. Fartlek (the name for some sort of unfortunately titled athletic routine)
4. Firkin Goombah (a small cask and protective, older friend)
5. Buttface (a simple yet, elegant classic)

Trending Articles: