The week before Spring Break: It’s probably one of the least-enjoyable weeks of the semester, along with finals week, of course. It certainly does not help our minds, and certainly not our grades, that professors schedule midterms, papers, and important projects due this week; I’m sure they know that their students  are burned out from two-plus months of nonstop studying. Instead of being productive, students are more likely daydreaming of the epic backpacking trip they are taking with their Cal friends (yep, those are my plans for our week off from school), or of being home with family that they have not seen in ten weeks.

Some Berkeley students might even be planning to visit their buddies from home at other institutions of higher learning. Especially because UC Berkeley’s Spring Break is later than many other the schools (especially those that are on the quarter system), it is not uncommon to have, for instance, your pre-college best friend up at Berkeley for a few days as they recharge from finals, while you repay them during your time off from school by heading down to Cal Poly the next weekend. It’s more personal than just stalking your friend on Facebook and chatting on Skype. Furthermore, such experiences can transform your buddy from a high-school pal into another college cohort, albeit one who goes to school elsewhere.

Before you go, however, just remember: just because you are visiting your buddy from high school doesn’t mean he is exactly the same person anymore. The guy who never partied on weekends and abstained from alcohol and drugs in high school might have joined the frattiest frat on campus. People change from the time that they walk the stage in high school, and your chum hopefully has other friends and interests. One of the worst things that you can possibly do at another campus is to make a fool of yourself in front of your bud’s new buddies. Here’s what NOT to do, with some “horror stories” to encourage you to behave. I’ve changed all the names to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

Parties: You and your friends from home are invited to a party or decide to hit frat row. For Pete’s sake, please watch what and how much you drink, and know what kind of drunk you are. One of my really good friends told me how her friend from home, Patrick, ignored this advice at his first house party. At this party, Patrick had a few drinks and went into another room. My friend, who was sober at the time, went to check in on him. Since Patrick is gay, she sat on his lap “like I usually do.” However, at this party, she found out that “Patrick turns bi when he’s drunk.” Patrick tried to kiss my friend, who, needless to say, was completely shocked, and when he tried to put his hand in her pants she jumped up. It got to the point where my friend’s hosts were making bets whether or not they would hook up together that night. Awkward? Just a little bit, perhaps: I’m told that neither of them enjoyed the conversation they had the next morning.

Relationships and sex: If you are going to visit an old flame, it’s probably a good idea not to let your emotions get the better of you. I guarantee you won’t win him or her back if you prevent them from being with someone else. During one trip to UCLA, I saw firsthand how and why trying to win an ex back in this way is so unattractive. I was staying with another friend of mine and his best friend from high school, Martin. We had driven first to Santa Cruz to pick up Martin’s high school girlfriend, Alexa. Martin explained to me that he was into someone else and hadn’t been into his ex for almost three years. For the two nights we were down there, however, Alexa revealed to all three of us that she was still madly in love with Martin. When Martin approached a girl at a party, Alexa would join him shortly thereafter. What made it worse was that while both my buddy and I expected to sleep on a couch or on the floor, Alexa expected to sleep in Martin’s bed. On Sunday, right before we made the all-day drive back to Berkeley, Martin and Alexa had a very long and private talk: afterwards, she didn’t say another word until we were in the car and safely on our way back. Getting heartbroken is not the most fun way to spend Spring Break, if you ask me. Why would you ever visit an ex in the first place? The moral of the story is that if you still love an old flame, wait until both of you are home to express your feelings.

General cleanliness: This person might be your best friend from home, but you still have to be a good guest. And if you do make a mess, please clean it up; you are going into another college student’s home. Please don’t be like Brent, who is an old friend of someone I know here at Cal. When Brent came to Berkeley, he decided to hook up with a girl on his host’s couch. Now, Brent’s host is a very easy-going guy and didn’t mind his chum’s actions so much, but became a little concerned when both Brent and the girl fell asleep on the couch sitting up because, as he told me, “when I woke up in the morning his [vomit] was in her underwear.” I do not know whether or not Brent cleaned up after himself, but it’s safe to say that my friend at Cal might suggest that his buddy crash on another person’s couch next time he comes to visit.

We’re only two days away from Spring Break. Study hard now, do well on your midterms, and everything will work itself out. I hope you have a relaxing break, wish you a safe journey to wherever you are going, and may you have fun with your old friends.

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