FollowSpring break is here, and whether you’re staying in Berktown or going home for the week, it’s unquestionably the time to binge watch Netflix. Netflix is the perfect significant other to spend a vacation with — there’s something for everyone and every mood. What else are you going to do, given a whole week away from the stress of midterms, papers, and extracurriculars? For the love of all that is good in the world, do not catch up on overdue work or readings for the Monday we get back, or fill out that summer application you’ve been putting off. Now is the time to vegetate, but what are you going to watch if not the bandwagon shows “Orange is the New Black” or “Game of Thrones?” Here’s what you should be watching, in no particular order.
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Females are strong as hell, and just as funny. Tina Fey’s newest project released the entire first season on Netflix all at once. It’s got the trademark Fey humor, strong women, and edgy jokes, with all the markings of a standard sitcom — the token black character, the crazy old woman with the shady past, and the vapid bottle-blonde stepmother who experiences emotional growth. Despite the tropes, it’s anything but boring. Kimmy (Ellie Kemper) is a source of both side-splitting humor and inspiration, a symbol of resilience and a testament to the strength of the human soul, sans the cheese. Plus, the episodes are short, which requires little to no attention span. I watched the entire thing in a weekend (leave me alone, my brain was fried after midterms).
Bob’s Burgers
All I did this summer was get stoned and rewatch “Bob’s Burgers” with my best friend. Sober or otherwise, “Bob’s Burgers” is where it’s at. Every character is so quotable, funny, and identifiable, I dare you not to like this. Seriously, I just walk around all day quoting the lines from this gem under my breath. This animated cult show is about the Belcher family and the greasy spoon burger joint they run, seemingly squelching all child labor laws in the meantime. Linda Belcher (John Roberts) embodies the quintessential upbeat soccer mom, except for the fact that she’s voiced by a man. The kids Gene, Louise, and Tina (all voiced by Dan Mintz)are the real stars of the show: Tina is the spirit animal of every awkward, boy-crazy teenage girl, yet unexpectedly offers sage, feminist mantras. Gene is the weird middle child, and the emblem of your inner couch potato bum who just blurts out whatever’s on his mind. The youngest, and definitely the smartest among the lot, is Louise, whose bunny-hat-wearing antics remind you of that kind of scary kid in class who always got detention but was too much of a badass to show up. Both Louise and that kid are probably going to end up in prison, much to your amusement. You can thank me later.
Twin Peaks
So far, our list has been for the masses, but what about those too cool for mainstream garbage? Fear not little hipster, we’ve got what you want. “Twin Peaks.” Now, please keep in mind that this is a satire parodying the ridiculous melodrama of soap operas from the 1980s-1990s. From the twisted mind of David Lynch comes “Twin Peaks,” the favorite child of every cinephile, harking back to the early 90s. “Twin Peaks” is a murder-mystery pseudo-soap that actually makes you question what you think you know about people, time, space, and appearances.
Based in beautiful, scenic Washington state, this show is all about the seedy underbelly of suburbia, and how we never really know the people around us, regardless of how long they’ve been part of our lives. It opens with the dead body of a universally loved high school senior washing up on the lake shore, and as her murder is investigated, we gain insight into the secret life she lived, and the darker shades of her personality. Everyone in the town turns out to be more complex than they appear. As the series progresses and evolves, it drifts more and more into abstraction, and keeps you on your toes. Plus, each episode is about an hour long, which will satisfy even the most addiction-prone binge watcher.
House of Cards
I haven’t actually seen this yet, but I only hear good things. Everyone who watches it is enamored with the plot and cast. Kevin Spacey is a terrific actor, and it’s all about how politics really works, so I’m game. Evidently, this show centers around Congressman Frank Underwood and his conniving wife (Robin Wright), a manipulative power couple who work to get payback when Frank is passed over for Secretary of State. The whole thing is basically a game of chess, except it’s people who are the pawns. The reason “House of Cards” is on this list is because it’s the first thing I’m going to start with come Friday night. My life is super exciting, try not to be too jelly.
The League
This one is for all the manly men out there, who are tired of watching “Gossip Girl” and “Gilmore Girls” with their girlfriends and/or other miscellaneous baes. Are you sitting around with a beer in hand, simultaneously fuming and heartbroken over the lack of football in your life, counting down the days til autumn comes and football season returns? No? Me neither. Aside from football, this comedy series offers one of my favorite elements in television: incredibly crude, heinously inappropriate jokes that really set your imagination off. The series traces the fantasy football “careers” of newly divorced Pete (Mark Duplass) and his ridiculous ensemble of friends. Spend your designated couch potato time getting acquainted with a dude named Taco (Jon Lajoie) and an effeminate plastic surgeon straight out of Creep City, USA.
Undeclared
Here’s something for all you freshmen. I watched this over winter break after my first semester at Cal, and damn, was it relevant. It centers around a group of friends navigating their first year of college, struggling with their changing identities, relationships that develop between them, and general problems that come with entering college. I’m not going to say that the writing is outstanding, nor is it an objectively terrific show, but the point is germane and there’s only one season — which is perfect for a short break. It’s a good show for the particularly lost and confused among us.
Archer
Smart jokes and insensitive social commentary, two things I can’t go without. Another animated series of short episodes, “Archer” is what you watch when you’re feeling cynical but also somehow lighthearted. It is pure entertainment — I can’t say you’ll grow as a person, but I can guarantee that at the very least, you will be amused. The show gives an inside look into the members of a spy corporation, each with their own issues and neurotic tendencies. Outlaw Country, whooh!
Gilmore Girls
“Gilmore Girls” in summation: strong and funny women, quick wit, junk-food, and pop culture references galore. Imagine my excitement when Netflix released every season of Gilmore Girls — solid move Netflix, you always have my back. Whether you’re sporadically re-watching or starting fresh from season 1, “GG” has officially made a comeback in pop culture, and I am loving it. The show centers on talkative, quirky, hyper-caffenated Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham) and her universally beloved bookworm daughter Rory (Alexis Bledel), and their interactions with the local community of Stars Hollow, Connecticut.
Every episode is like a hug from an old friend, and I can honestly say that I may not have gotten to Cal without Rory Gilmore as a role model. When I was a child, I watched Rory Gilmore grow and aspire to attend Yale. To put me on par with my role model, I worked hard through high school in hopes of attending a university I would also be proud of.
Aside from simply providing entertainment, the show explores issues centering on class and conformity. “GG” provides young women everywhere with positive female figures who defy clichés of other shows — the female characters don’t fight over men, nor did they let petty things get between them. Most importantly, GG taught me when to be gracious, and how to be a good friend. When you watch the series, you open yourself up to making connections that will bond you for life with fellow GG enthusiasts. Team Jess forever.
Arrested Development
If you haven’t gotten on board the “Arrested Development” train by now, I’m impressed. Mostly because if you’re not deeper under a rock than I am, then you have some enviable commitment and follow-through. I didn’t know about this Netflix original until I got to college, but I’m glad to have stumbled upon it. The Bluth family is relatable, but strange enough to hold your attention.
Michael (Jason Bateman), the only sibling driven by reason, has to hold the family together after their father, a housing mogul, is sent to prison…something you learn within the intro of the first episode. Michael’s wife is dead, and his son, played by Michael Cera, is into his cousin. His sister is married to a closeted gay man, his mother is a horrible shrew with an intense RBF and drinking problem, two of his brothers are idiots, and his dad… well he’s in jail, duh. Cue chaos. And ridiculous situations with improbable characters. If you have any interest in Freud’s work, check this out. Or just watch it for the sake of feeling in the loop when people tell you that there’s always money in the banana stand.
Parks and Recreation
Do you like waffles? How about bacon? Do you like sass? Are you a man? Are you a woman? How about glorious push-broom mustaches? Does Aziz Ansari tickle your pickle? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should watch “Parks and Rec,” about the inner workings of local city government in Pawnee, Indiana.
So this just ended, much to the chagrin of everyone.There’s a reason people were so into this show, and that is Amy Poehler and her sunshine personality. You have Poehler providing the strong female lead as Leslie Knope, an eternal ray of optimism, and probably the only character, real or fictional, who believes in the government. Counter to her is the cynical, arguably obstructionist, man’s-man Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman). If there’s any one television character to know, it’s Ron, my bona fide spirit animal. I make my decisions based on the only question that matters: What would Ron Swanson do?
Honorable mentions:
The Office
Third Rock From the Sun (NEW!)
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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