Awkward Living: Things Not to Say to New Friends

Sweaty palms. Blotchy face. Embarrassed stuttering. Internal face palming. We all have experienced these symptoms of awkwardness. It is a rite of passage during puberty, but parents forget to mention that we never really grow out of the “awkward phase.”

For some people, awkward is a way of life. No self-help books can teach us to better understand social cues and constructs. Trust me, I looked through my local bookstores. Instead of cowering in shame or embarrassment, we must embrace our awkward selves.

For college freshman, this journey starts when we meet our roommates. We now have to share everything from closet space to sacred bathroom time with strangers. Although everyone struggles to adjust to all forms of college life, friendships with your roommate(s) remain one of the most difficult aspects of dorm living to navigate.

Everybody wants to be best friends with their roommates, even using Facebook to find their roommate match. I admit I participated in this matchmaking service. I met a girl on Facebook and we got along really well; we even decided to be roommates. We bonded, adjusted to each other’s habits, and determined that dining hall food cannot rival the deliciousness of Thai Basil’s pad thai.

Then one afternoon, my roommate and I were sitting in our room when she got up to use the restroom. I, too, had to evacuate my facilities, but instead of merely going, this came out of my mouth: “Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could have someone pee for you? I don’t know how you’d give the urine to them, but it’d be so much easier!”

At first, my roommate did not know what to say. She sat with a blank expression. The heaviness of an awkward moment settled on us like a fleece blanket in the middle of a heat wave. Internally, I was sighing. It sounded funny in my head, but I knew as soon as I said it that it was too soon into our friendship to crack weird jokes. My roommate attempted to diffuse the situation by contemplating urination teleportation, but no matter how many different algorithms we created, nothing could help me travel back in time and take back that comment.

There is a time and place for saying the right things or telling the best jokes. That obviously was not one of them. When making new friends, living with new people, and meeting new acquaintances, be mindful and cautious of what leaves your mouth.

When it comes to discussing personal matters like religion or politics, let the other person bring it up if you feel unsure. Then you will know what that person enjoys comfortably debating. While filtering what you say in the beginning of a new friendship remains imperative, you should also maintain your own identity. People will like you for who you are, but sometimes you need to fact check yourself before humiliating yourself.

We all say things that sound funny in our heads but are just plain bizarre out loud. We all say things that we instantly wish we could retract. If you fear the other person is judging you, remember: they have done it too. Overcoming our word vomit takes time, but you will quickly adapt to your new friends’ humors and favorite topics of discussions. When that questionable joke comes to mind, it is best saved for future conversations within your budding relationships.

Image sources semidomesticatedmama.com and weheartit.com.