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A Snack Food Fiesta Courtesy of Trader Joe’s

by on Mar, 14 2013

When the dining hall’s got me down, I find the ultimate solace in coming back to my dorm room to a treasure trove of Trader Joe’s snacks. Trader Joe’s – which I affectionately refer to as TJ’s – is the holy grail of salty, sugary, and carby goodness. No matter how caloric the snacks may actually be, everything at TJ’s has the air of healthly food thanks to the open store layout, kitschy product packaging, and the general happiness of the staff. What appear as decadent dark chocolate-covered pretzels in Safeway look like antioxidant-rich whole grains in the glowing aisles of TJ’s.

Compared to the dumpy convenience stores that proliferate on campus, TJ’s is a bit of a trek, but getting there is part of the adventure. Trader Joe’s has two nearby locations, both around 1.5 miles from campus, on University and College. Take the 51B bus or walk in anticipation of all the Parmesan kale chips and organic coconut milk you’re about to consume.

Navigating the aisles of TJ’s unguided can be a daunting task. Should you get the chocolate-covered acai berries or the cayenne-roasted almonds? The dried kimchi or triangulated wasabi trek mix? To help you navigate this sea of snack food, here are my recommendations for the best munchies to satisfy midterm-fueled binges:

Kettle Corn: This stuff puts Orville Redenbacher to shame. Equal parts sugary and salty, TJ’s kettle corn satisfies the entire spectrum of cravings. Its taste reminisces of hot summer nights spent rollicking around the county fair. And it’s whole grain, so you won’t feel too badly when you finish the whole bag in one sitting.

 


Wasabi Roasted Seaweed Snacks: These unassuming sheets of seaweed sure pack a fiery punch, so much so that cashiers are required to warn unassuming customers. Though certainly not for the faint of heart, Wasabi Roasted Seaweed Snacks are great crumbled on Asian-inspired noodle dishes or simply eaten straight from the box. Everyone’s mouth could use a shake down every now and then, so do as the Japanese and snack on the vegetables of the sea.


Peppermint Joe-Joe’s: Oreos step aside, there’s a new sheriff in town and he takes no prisoners. These cookies were once only available during the winter season, but TJ’s now stocks them year round thanks to their popularity. Like Oreos, Joe-Joe’s are made up of a dollop of ambiguous white cream sandwiched between two crunchy chocolate wafers. Unlike Oreos, the white silky goodness is flecked with crunchy peppermint bits. It’s like Christmas and childhood rolled into one bite.

 

Jerky. Forget Slim Jims, the staple of gas stations everywhere. TJ’s has recreated jerky, offering up turkey, beef, salmon, and buffalo varieties. Not only will you feel like a Native American munching on buffalo, but you’ll also be giving yourself 11 grams of lean protein. It’s chewy, it’s salty, and it’s super satisfying.

 


Speculoos Cookie Butter: The name says it all: cookie and butter. This spread tastes like gingerbread and is made of crushed cookies. Spread it on bananas, put it in a milkshake, or just eat it straight-up with a spoon (or your finger). If I’ve learned anything in college so far, it’s that all you need to make it through midterm season is cookies and butter, and this spread saves precious time by combining the two.

 


Tofu Edamame Nuggets: Yes, these sound like something you’d eat for dinner at a hippie nudist commune, but they are truly unrivaled in their deliciousness. Crispy on the outside, fluffy in the middle, and flecked with carrots and edamame, these are the Chicken McNuggets of vegetarians. Pop them in the oven and serve hot with TJ’s Sweet Chili Garlic Sauce. Ronald McDonald might just become a vegetarian after tasting these.

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