A Note to Prospees

By Sally Littlefield · On April 17, 2014

As Cal Day came to a close last weekend, thousands of high school seniors faced one question: how about Cal? And if your sibling, friend, neighbor, schoolmate, or aunt’s coworker’s hairdresser’s kid was one of them, odds are someone asked you that question as well. For me, this is a hard question to answer. I certainly don’t want to give a bad impression of Berkeley, but I don’t want to shamelessly plug my school either. It’s also hard to remember all the small things when your younger brother’s friend’s mom catches you off guard at the neighborhood barbecue to grill you about where little Jimmy should go to college.

In order to make it easier on myself, Jimmy’s mom, and over-involved moms of seventeen-year-old kids everywhere, I’ve created an easy to follow guide to the best and worst aspects of the things that have dominated my Berkeley experience thus far.

1. Dining halls

Pros: As much as it seems like a rite of passage to bitch about dining hall food, sometimes Crossroads, Foothill, CKC, and Café 3 serve the best menus in town. My meal plan has provided me with salmon and steak to die for, and I’ll admit to eating three servings of gooey butter cake (which no one knew was a thing before coming to Berkeley but since arriving cannot live without) in one sitting. Though all three servings compacted into a giant rock in my stomach, nothing compares to lingering over fajitas (a CKC special) with friends until the clock strikes 9 and an exhausted upperclassman in a Cal Dining visor says you need to leave.

Cons: Fajita night at CKC is like Christmas: it’s great because it happens only every once in a while. Unfortunately, whatever the dining hall happens to be serving on those nights off of Mexican food may fall far short. The mashed potato bar that inexplicably takes the place of fajitas at the World Flavors section never compares. Other nights, the DC may serve your favorites but run out before you get there, leaving you to choke down vegan chocolate cake that’s really more like stale bread and glare at those lucky jerks who nabbed the last pieces of gooey butter cake.

2. Residence Halls

Pros: Unit 1 and Unit 2 were recently renovated and some rooms on the higher floors have bay views. Unit 3, though located in the heart of south side, is only a block away from campus, equidistant from the East Asian Library and Asian Ghetto. Clark Kerr is a gorgeous Spanish mission-style oasis with the biggest freaking dorm rooms around and scantily clad student athletes sunbathing any time of year. Living in Bowles Hall or Foothill is the closest any of us will get to attending Hogwarts, and Late Night there is legendary.

Cons: Clark Kerr and the Units provide residents with opposite sets of challenges. Though residents of the Units can reasonable wake up at 7:57 for an 8 am class (factoring in Berkeley time, of course), they live in tiny rooms. There aren’t even triples in the Units, just doubles with a couple additional square feet that do a lousy job accommodating a third bunk bed and desk. On the other hand, though you could probably play three simultaneous games of Twister with all the floor space of Clark Kerr rooms, residents are always a mile or more away from anywhere they want to go. As for Foothill… well, to be honest, I’ve never really heard about anything going on over there.

3. Professors

Pros: I mean, it’s Berkeley. The fact that our on-campus parking system has sections reserved for Nobel Laureates should tell you something.

Cons: Because discussing academia always calls Legally Blonde to my mind, I’m going to liken the cons of Berkeley professors to the scene in which a baffled Warner asks Elle, “You got into Harvard Law?” She responded, “What, like it’s hard?” At Cal, students are Warner and professors are Elle. Around professors, we often find ourselves in states of shock, asking questions like, “You’ve advised the president?” “You’re not curving the midterm?” and “You expect us to memorize the entire periodic table?” The professors only furrow their brows, cock their heads, and reply, “What, like it’s hard?”

4. GSIs

Pros: There are few certainties in life. Death and taxes, sure, but Berkeley students can also bet that every semester they will have a GSI whose untucked dress shirts, sophisticated, classic good looks, and easy way of debating the causes of the fall of the Soviet Union will drive them wild. The war may have been cold, but this GSI is unbelievably hot. He or she will make every miserable early morning trek to campus for a weekly 8 a.m. discussion worth it with only a brief flash of a smile as you enter the room. Oh, and GSIs teach well, too.

Cons: Hot GSIs are great, but sometimes Berkeley GSIs are simply too hot. Your participation grade really suffers if you momentarily forget how to speak English every time your GSI runs a hand through his thick, dark hair after posing a question about this week’s readings. And discussion notes become illegible if enough GSI-induced drool drips onto your notebook. But even if unparalleled GSI sex appeal keeps us from acing Chem 3b, we’re not exactly complaining.

5. Campus life

Pros: There’s always something to do, be it an African drum circle concert on memorial glade, a trip to King Pin at 3 a.m., a socialist protest on Sproul, a lecture given by a renowned world leader, a party on Piedmont, a casual game of Quidditch, or a chance to watch the football team lose. And on the off-chance you find yourself with some free time, there’s always a midterm to study for, a textbook to read, or a paper to write.

Cons: Maybe all the options make you feel overwhelmed. Maybe you don’t think you can balance a demanding workload and thriving social life. But if this is the case, maybe Cal isn’t for you.

This campus is alive, constantly in motion, slowing down for no one. And it’s what allows us to thrive. The kids I study with, live with, rage with, and grow up with at Berkeley will one day cure disease, lead nations, win Olympic gold, and better the world. I know because kids who studied, lived, raged, and grew up here have gone on to do all of it and more. Yes, Berkeley is overwhelming sometimes. But that’s what makes Cal different.