Refresh, scroll, and repeat—the telling symptoms of someone who has FOMO, or an acute “Fear of Missing Out.” From a college student’s perspective, it seems that more individuals experience this every day, habitually checking and refreshing their devices for social media updates almost instinctively.
In 2008, UC Davis conducted a study to provide a numerical estimate of the amount of media we process daily. It was found that Americans consume about 1.3 trillion hours of information outside of work that year – a staggering 12 hours and 100,500 words per person per day. As technologic advancements and social media have ballooned, these numbers have since only increased.
Ironically, in our determination to stay up-to-date at all times, we often slack in creating face-to-face connections. We’ve all witnessed it—a group of people sitting in the presence of one another, but never looking up from their phone screens. It is astounding that pixelated humans could be more engaging or noteworthy than nearby humans IRL.
The general expectation has become that people are constantly connected and available via text message, email, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, you name it. Such communication has become a necessity in the workplace, at school, and for networking; connection gives us a sense of worth—each message or “like” serves as a reminder that others are interested in our whereabouts and thoughts. In turn, we are consistently aware of what our friends, acquaintances, and even strangers are doing at all times.
However, consistently keeping tabs on social connections can subconsciously contribute to self-doubt. I, and so many of my peers, become susceptible to thinking, Am I as successful as others within my job or university? Is my social and extracurricular life exciting or active enough?
This tendency to feel insecure in measuring up to the social and professional lives of our acquaintances makes us all unsuspecting victims and contributors. What is the real reason we keep refreshing our Instagram or Snapchat feeds? Do we actually care about the latest outings of our acquaintances, or are we comparing whether or not our daily lives are as action-packed as theirs?
Say you’re enjoying a night in with some great company named Netflix, and you absentmindedly scroll to an image of friends spending a night out in the city. Instinctively, you may compare their exciting nightlife with your choice of activity, and in less than a minute, you are not enjoying Netflix nearly as much as you were before.
At the root of media-induced tendencies to experience dissatisfaction is social media’s deceptive capabilities. Our social platforms represent an idealized version of reality, one filled to the brim with friends, extravagant adventures, and accomplishments. Collectively, we attempt to project the best versions of ourselves through social media, which in reality only displays a fraction of our daily lives.
Do we post about personal insecurities, financial struggle, or familial difficulties?
Rarely.
Would social media be nearly as popular if it entailed a live feed of complaints, worries, and tribulations? Aside from that one melodramatic friend who seems to be in a state of perpetual break-up, social media has evolved into an escape from monotonous daily routine. Users can expect to see photos of cheerful acquaintances living adventurous and interesting lives, which is exactly what introduces FOMO in the first place—leading us back to square one.
When six adolescents at a SheKnows.com workshop were asked if they suffered from social media anxiety, all six answered no. However, when the conversation shifted towards “likes” on social media platforms and emotions resulting from personal dissatisfaction with their social lives, participants acknowledged the familiarity of the feeling.
Cal student Marina Fox stresses the benefits of cutting back on social media, and how the choice to limit usage has reshaped her experiences and outlook.
“As someone who has refrained from social media, I’m fortunate in that I don’t often envy where others are in comparison to where I am,” Fox said. “I think FOMO stems in part from the unspoken belief that there only exists a few specific ways to have fun. But it’s okay to realize that there are all types of people in the world, and we all define what fun is differently.” Embracing what’s happening away from the screen, Fox said, makes comparing the way we each individually have fun irrelevant.
In 2013, a University of Michigan research team measured the correlation between time spent on Facebook and participant emotions. Kross et al. recruited a group of Facebook users in Michigan and texted them individually five times a day for two weeks, surveying their current mood and time spent checking Facebook. Research subjects also reported current emotions and satisfaction with their life holistically. Results indicated negative shift in both short-term emotions and overall satisfaction, in addition to a direct correlation between time spent on Facebook and ensuing disappointment with participants’ own lives.
Berkeley student Ben Papadopoulos also reflects on those commonly affected by FOMO. “I think that because people can consume what anyone is doing at any given time, and contribute to their own social network, the people most affected by fear of missing out are those who may feel insecure in their friendships, or those who need their friends’ approval to feel fulfilled.”
Our attachment to social media has caused many of us to miss out on enlightening conversations and experiences. Forbes writer Kristi Hedges comments on the struggle to balance work and other daily activities, saying, “We will always be missing something, but if we’re spending our time worrying about it, we’re missing everything.”
So how do we escape this vicious cycle of utilizing social networking as a means to fill a void, if it can simultaneously exacerbate feelings of self-doubt? Take control of social media, and don’t let it take control of you.
By no means need you deactivate all your accounts. In fact, a Pew Center study on social isolation found that information and communications technologies help reinforce existing strong ties to friends and family.
If you feel that your social media use has been destructive to your non-virtual relationships and everyday happiness, step away from social media for a few hours at a time and occupy yourself with more rewarding pursuits. Most importantly—build real relationships with people, rather than with your follower count. Remember that you are capable of changing where you invest your time, virtual or not.
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