A Breakdown of FOMO and How to Overcome It

Refresh, scroll, and repeat — these are the telling symptoms of someone who has FOMO, or an acute “Fear of Missing Out.” Those diagnosed with the sweeping epidemic will display habits such as constantly checking their phones or laptops for updates on social media, and are significantly bothered by turning down opportunities for social or work gatherings.

What’s worse — more individuals fall victim to FOMO everyday.

The general expectation is that people are constantly connected and available via text message, email, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, you name it. In turn, we are consistently up to date on what friends, acquaintances, or even strangers are doing at all times.

However, consistently keeping tabs on social connections can contribute subconsciously to self doubt: Am I as successful and content with my job or university? Is my social life exciting or active enough?

This social plague known as FOMO, accompanied by a tendency to feel insecure about our own lives and whether we measure up to our acquaintances’ social and professional lives, is largely traced to the prevalence of social media in today’s society.

The worrisome aspect of this social anxiety is that we are all  unsuspecting victims and contributors. What is the real reason you keep checking your Instagram or Snapchat feed? Do you actually care about the latest outings of an acquaintance you follow on Instagram? Or are you comparing whether or not your daily life is as action-packed as theirs?

On the other hand, every time we post on social networks, aren’t we continuing the chain?

Say you’re enjoying a night in with some great company named Netflix, and absentmindedly scroll to an image of friends spending a night out in the city. Instinctively, you may compare their exciting nightlife with your choice of activity, and in less than a minute, you are not able to enjoy Netflix as much as you were before.

At the root of media-induced tendencies to experience dissatisfaction is social media’s deceptive nature. Collectively, we all project the best versions of ourselves through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media platforms by posting our accomplishments, outings with friends, and extravagant vacations, which in reality only represents a fraction of daily life.

Our social platforms represent an idealized version of reality, one filled to the brim with friends, adventure, and witty status updates. Do we post about insecurities, or financial and familial difficulties?

No.

Who would use social media if it entailed a live feed of complaints? We use it as an escape from monotonous daily routine, and expect to see photos of cheery acquaintances living adventurous and interesting lives, which is exactly what induces FOMO in the first place — leading us back to square one.

In an analysis of social pressures and FOMO, Dr. John M. Grohol states: “Teens think they ‘get it’ — that technology is a natural extension of their social lives. But they’re mistaken — they’re still crafting their lives around the technology and the social connections they entice us with, rather than the other way around.”

In 2013, the University of Michigan conducted a study to measure the correlation between time spent on Facebook, and resulting sentiments of participants. The team recruited a group of Facebook users in Michigan, and texted them individually five times a day for two weeks. These texts contained surveys asking about their current mood and time spent checking Facebook; research subjects also reported current emotions and satisfaction  with their life holistically.

Results indicated a negative shift in both short-term emotions and overall satisfaction, in addition to a direct correlation between time spent on Facebook and ensuing disappointment with participants’ own lives.

Forbes writer Kristi Hedges comments on the struggle to balance work and other daily activities: “We will always be missing something, but if we’re spending our time worrying about it, we’re missing everything.”

Social media has caused a lot of us to miss out on enlightening conversations, experiences, and even personal satisfaction with our own lives and surroundings. It is undoubtedly difficult to measure up to our friends’ picture-perfect lives projected online: exciting, bustling, and extremely virtual.

Ironically, in our determination to stay up to date at all times, we slack in creating face-to-face connections. We’ve all witnessed it — the congregation of teenagers or adults sitting in the presence of one another, but never looking up from their phone screens. It stuns me how pixels of other people could be more engaging or worthy of attention than a human, who is capable of conversation and sitting less than two feet away.

So how do we escape this vicious cycle of utilizing social networking as a means to fill a void—when it only exacerbates feelings of self-doubt? Take social media for what it is, but with a grain of salt. What you see online is not an accurate or reliable depiction of someone’s life, nor does it give you any insight into their life as a whole.

Take control of social media, and don’t let it take control of you. By no means does this insinuate that you should deactivate all your accounts, as social communication has become almost a necessity for jobs, networking, and staying in touch with friends and family.

Instead, step away from social media for a few hours at a time and occupy yourself with more rewarding  pursuits. Achieve your ideal health through physical activity. Find internal peace by doing activities you love. Most importantly — build real relationships with people, rather than your follower count.

Images Source: Lana Cosic