While it is America’s largest sporting event, not everyone watches the Super Bowl for the game. Some prefer the parts in between, opting to pay most of their attention to the 30 second ads that companies shell out millions for. If – for whatever reason – you missed the game yesterday, I’ve got you covered on that front, too, as I have meticulously watched and broken down an otherwise weak crop of Super Bowl ads this year.

The things I do for readers, right?

The Cream of the Crop:

Tide – “Miracle Stain”

Concept: Guy spills something on his shirt that looks like Joe Montana.

Why it works: Crazy, out of the box, and has a delightful twist at the end. Does everything right that you want from an ad – funny, creative, and only slightly overdone. It certainly got the people at my Superbowl get-together talking, anyway.

Hyundai Santa Fe – “Team”

Concept: Bullied child is told that he can get his football back when he finds his own group of players. A 30 second quest to find some ensues.

Why it works: Wonderfully unconventional imagery of children welding and wrestling bears, all a part of a 7-boy septet that kicks some serious ass. Short, sweet, and to the point. Who wouldn’t want to hop in a van of ultra manly children? Wait, that didn’t come out right.

Kia Sorento – “Space Babies”

Concept: A parent needs to come up with an answer to the most dreaded of all questions – “where do babies come from?”

Why it works: I don’t know what a uvo is, but after this commercial, I WANT IT. Anything that can automatically deflect or distract toddlers is a plus in my book. Also, space kids.

NFL Network – “Leon Sandcastle”

Concept: Tired of being overshadowed, Deion Sanders decides to re-enter the NFL.

Why it works: If the site of Primetime in a wig and terrible mustache doesn’t do it for you, I don’t know what to tell you.

Not Bad:

MiO Fit – “Change”

Concept: Tracy Morgan comes out to talk to you about change.

Why it works: This isn’t just on the list because 30 Rock just ended, I swear. Something is always wonderful about Morgan’s half-shout/half-yell/all-ridiculous style of delivery, which comes through here again while pitching us on MiO. Apparently it’s just as important as the transition from chicken to nugget. Subtle allusion to the ultra creepy Clint Eastwood commercial from last year, too.

M&M’s – “Love Ballad”

Concept: Red M&M sings “I’d Do Anything For Love” by Meat Loaf [yes, that's their actual name.]

Why it works: Naya Rivera. Wait, what is this about again?

Failed:

Wonderful Pistachios – “Crackin Gangnam Style” – You guys were like 5 months late to this one. Now your product just looks woefully outdated and unhip.

Ram Trucks – “Farmer” – I know what you were trying to do here, Ram Trucks. I really do. A slideshow of images that were supposed to invoke emotion and sympathy from viewers for the farmer lifestyle. I get it. But the football watching audience is highly likely to identify with it [I was not on Twitter during this time, but reports from my newsfeed seemed to be all critical], so you just really came off looking incredibly bizarre and out of place.

Audi – “Prom” – Cool car and all, but I’m not inclined to want to drive anything that gets me punched in the face.

Sketchers – “Man vs Cheetah” – You guys are begging me to sue you for false advertisement when I blow a lung out trying to outrun a cheetah. You know. Like your commercial tells me I can.

Trending Articles: