5 Fake Tips for Crashing a Final Exam

Judging by Facebook statuses alone, we know that most students have taken most, if not all, of their finals by now. As I was daydreaming in my post-finals glory, I thought: how surreal would it be to crash a final? And by “crashing,” I mean attending something even when you’re not invited. (Think Owen Wilson in that one wedding movie.)

Theoretically, it wouldn’t be impossible to crash a final. With 500-student core classes like Bio 1B or Econ 1, no one has time to verify your student ID or your face, and anyone who looks the part of a student could pass through the doors and take the final.

So disclaimer: We would never, ever encourage anyone to crash a final exam (think of the resources you would waste, and what would happen if you got caught, yikes…), but wouldn’t it be fun to think of and laugh at all the entertaining possibilities? Below are five tips for taking a fake test in style, and read it in good fun:

Courtesy of University of Pittsburgh

1. Blending in. As the (real) students are lining up outside the exam room, waiting, cramming, hyperventilating, you, the fake student, can join them while doing something out of the ordinary, like yoga or juggling.
2. Faking names. When you get the exam, write down a bogus or celebrity name on the appropriate line.
3. Doodling. Scribble ransom notes and draw rainbows, unicorns and lightning bolts on your exam — but not so much that it catches the attention of an instructor or proctor.
4. Unnecessary smiling. Every so often, try to catch the eye of another person in the exam room and smile goofishly or wickedly at them, but look away immediately and keep taking the “test.”
5. Staging your exit. The best idea I know of is this: when the exams are being collected at the end, refuse loudly to turn in your exam, throw your pencil and exam up into the air, and run out of the room screaming your head off. (Run fast so no one can catch up to you!)